Messing up isn't fun. But the thing about fucking up is that you're supposed to learn from those mistakes, right?
Move forward, and learn to do the right thing. Believe it or not, you can do it. Having a backbone is good for that sort of thing.
I'm writing right now but I don't even know how to convey the thoughts and feelings I've been having.
Maybe because I've never felt more alone than ever before, maybe because everyone does things and I'm one of the few that just don't. Either way, being lied to sucks.
It's probably one of the most hurtful things. You think I can't handle the truth? The truth would hurt a lot less if you told me from the start. If you didn't do these self destructing, sick things.
Maybe I'm the problem in this situation. Maybe I should just quit caring about what other people do. But no convincing or ignorance can really shield my feelings, it will still bother me.
High school is supposed to be the time of my life. So why do I sit up at night with different thoughts than the rest of the world? It's impossible because no one, I mean no one, would ever agree with me.
Trust is defective. Those friends? Completely different people. Change is a part of life. Like a phase in a way.
Maybe I'll never fit in. But really, why would I throw away all self respect for a good time? I'm fucking high on life, I don't know what good comes from illegal substances.
I give up.
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