so long, blogspot

no longer blogging on blogspot.

anastasiabarrett.tumblr.com

Not all people can understand the way I am,
some may hate me while some may love me.

But I love the way I dont pretend to be someone I'm not,
just to impress anyone.

People come in and out of our lives,
but then again if they stayed there forever, how we would ever really know how special they truly are?

Hello.

One of the hardest things to do is to live.
As stupid as it sounds, it's hard to not vanish away with everything else.

It's hard some days,
and sometimes it's like you are so powerless that you can't even speak for yourself.

Being alone may seem like it is a bad thing,
but in that sense you can't hurt anyone else

and maybe for a little while, you can live with yourself.

Gone.

You cannot run away from yourself,
you're always right behind you.

Life’s all about the revolution, isn’t it? The one inside, I mean.
You can’t change history. You can’t change the world. All you can ever change is yourself.

I don’t think people understand what just one thoughtless comment can do to a person.

Praying to a God I don't believe in

It's hard to admit that I hate myself, but I can feel my own resentment.
It's hard to accept who I am some days.

I'll never be completely understood by anyone,
My emotions and my thoughts are my own worst enemy.

Then comes the time I lay in bed with the dark room surrounding my own existence, my day replays throughout my head.
Almost every instance is tainted with some sort of fucked up feeling that I can't explain.

My mind is so cloudy and my chest is so heavy.

I'm alive but I'm praying to God for that glimpse of hope, so I just don't break everything else in my life

It’s a shame to spend even a second miserable, because it’s a second could have been happy. If you want to be miserable, that’s okay too, if that’s what you really really want. I believe that it’s just not as good for you, for anyone who loves you, or for the world, overall.

So far away

Sometimes, I just want to run very, very far away.
I long to leave everything behind me, and wake up in a new place.

Seeing new faces cursed without judgement,
it would be such a comfort.

To wander in your own curiosity without question,
to live and grow as a new person.

First love.

So little to say but so much time,
despite my empty mouth the words are in my mind.
Please wear the face, the one where you smile,
because you lighten up my heart when I start to cry.

Forgive me first love, but I’m tired.
I need to get away to feel again.
Try to understand why, don’t get so close to change my mind.
Please wipe that look out of your eyes, it’s bribing me to doubt myself;
simply, it’s tiring.

This love has dried up and stayed behind,
and if I stay I’ll be alive,
then choke on words I’d always hide.
Excuse me first love, but we’re through.
I need to taste the kiss from someone knew.

Forgive me first love, but I’m too tired.
I’m bored to say the least and I, I lack desire.
Forgive me first love, forgive me first love, forgive me first love, forgive me first love, forgive me, forgive me first love, forgive me

Infinity.

I love all my friends so much that I want to collect them all into my heart, so that they can all live there and each have their own room and hang out with me and each other. But I also want my heart to be infinite, so that everyone, even strangers, can fit in it and have eternal happiness. But my heart cannot be so big because it would explode, and I like to believe that the world itself is my heart, with everyone, even strangers, living in it.